I have permission to bring this story from a workplace. Kasper, who is an introverted and highly sensitive person, recounts:
“Even before the staff meeting a surprise was expected from the party committee. There were conjectures and most people were expectant.
I don’t know if there were others besides me that looked forward to the surprise with concern. And my concern turned out to be well-founded. The party committee had arranged an outing, which was to end with a party and a stay overnight at remote location. There was a burst of excitement among the staff.
When I asked if it would be possible to leave at the end of the evening, if you did not wish to stay the night, I was met with: “Of course you’ll stay the night. You shouldn’t be so worried. It’ll be fun!”
Shortly thereafter someone expressed their joy and gratitude to the party committee, which had succeeded in arranging such a great event.
I felt wrong when I went home that day. I was devastated and scared to be left out of the workplace community if I said no to this, to me, anxiety-ridden trip.”
Kasper’s experience is not unique. Many introverts and highly sensitive people knows about being in a though spot in the same way as him.
If you worry and need to be able to choose not to participate in social gatherings, you are easily regarded as cranky. There seem to be a consensus that you don’t have to show any consideration to “cranky persons”. They should just learn to be less negative.
I find it encouraging that there is now more focus on the diversity of people. That there are introverted and highly sensitive people who are living their lives quite differently from other people. It is encouraging that these people come together in groups and support each other in that it is okay to not always be upbeat, but on the contrary to need breaks, contemplation and their own space.
Highly sensitive people and introverts usually prefer relations of high quality and for a limited time as supposed to a multitude of social gatherings and experiences.
One thought on “In our time and culture the jaunty ones are the right ones”
Forced after hours workplace events were very difficult for me, as well. My need for rest and isolation after a full day was seen as my lack of being cooperative and a team player. I am an introvert-hsp of Danish decent living in high intensity America.